"with room"

I'm now in my third week working at Starbucks, and I already have a list of things that annoy me!

The biggest thing is that people pour coffee into the trash can to make room for their milk, and about half of them miss. First of all, how do you miss? These are motor skills that we learned in elementary school! Second, when I take out that trash, it is HOT. And it's HEAVY. All that poured out, wasted coffee! If they would only ask for their coffee "with room," we could all save the hassle of throwing out that coffee.

One time I was taking the trash out, and this guy poured his coffee into the hole and - because the trash can wasn't in place - it splashed ALL over me. I screamed out and told him that I'm taking out the trash now, but the guy didn't notice. He then put napkins and his stirring stick in the hole, too. Some people!!

The second thing is when people are on their cell phones while placing their order. There was one guy who didn't want the person he was talking to to know that he was at Starbucks, and so he literally mouthed his very specific order to me. And I am terrible at reading lips. Seriously - hang up the phone or say "hold on" and give me your attention for 5 seconds!

One non-customer-related pet-peeve is that because I'm new, there are like five people telling me what to do, and sometimes these things conflict. "Go on your 10-minute break" says one person." "Finish your date dots," says another. And still a third person says, "Stay at the register! Don't move!"

And lastly, it is cold in our store. Even on a day like this where it's barely over 60 degrees - I'm shivering, even with two layers on. This annoys me about most places - restaurants, movie theaters, uhh nature -- I hate the cold!

Okay rant over! Time for my first halal cart! Chicken & rice, here I come!

"slacker!"

You know how everyone's done and said stupid things in the past? I've been plenty stupid, and I think I have a normal amount of regret about them. But I have this one memory that pops into my head every couple weeks or so, and it pains me like a knife twisting in my chest. The worst part is that I can't do anything to undo it, or apologize for it or explain it.

For some reason I've been thinking about it more these days, so maybe if I can't apologize directly, ...this will help? I don't know. Let's try and see.

This was maybe a year or two after graduating from college and I was at home in Maryland. I went with some not-so-close friends to Silver Diner to eat. One of the servers came up to me and asked if I played the flute.

"Uhhh...yeah," I said. That's a weird thing for some stranger to know about me.

But the server reminded me that he was my classmate in middle school, and we had a bunch of classes together, including band where he played the trumpet and I played the flute.

"Of course!" I said. "Jason! I remember you!"

We were all smiles and knee-slapping, until...I said it:

"You were such a slacker!"

The smile on his face turned into a grimace and he said, "Aaaalright. It was good to see you." And he walked away.

Shudder shudder shudder shudder. Am I really posting about this?? :(

If I could go back and tell him what I actually meant to say, I would've said something like, "Ohh, you gave our teachers such a hard time! Howcome we didn't see you at Springbrook?" ...or anything not cruel!!!

Yeah, he got in trouble a lot, but he was being so nice! We almost never spoke in middle school, but he remembered my face ten years later and remembered the instrument I played! And how did I repay his kindness? GAH, I don't need to say it again, do I?

I hope it's not as bad as it seems to me. But I think it really is that bad. So Jason Moore, if you're out there somewhere, please forgive me! I really didn't mean what I said, and I'm so sorry I said it!

got yelled at

I'm terrible at dealing with confrontation. Whenever I feel a strong emotion - any strong emotion - I have one reaction, every time: I cry. It makes me feel like I'm five, and sometimes I just can't hold it back.

It's the most embarrassing when it happens at work. And it has happened. When I was working at the child care center of a women's gym, I got screamed at by one of the mothers and told that I should be fired. I had to step in the bathroom. I second-grader I tutored for the first time wailed at me and told me that I'll never be a good teacher and that I was a failure at life (seriously). Those were in high school. But I knew that it wasn't beyond me to break down in tears in the workplace, now, late in my twenties.

So when a customer at Starbucks totally lost it and screamed at me today, I am proud to say that, although my voice quivered a little when I took the next customer's order, I held back the tears. Thank goodness for those hats, too - it makes it a little worse when people can see and react to my face when I get upset. It's kinda like that kid who falls down and would otherwise be fine, except he starts crying only when people around him get all "Aww are you okay??" I think it's like that.

Anyway, my coworkers supported me ("She's new," the girl at the next register said as she put her hands on both my shoulders.) and I got past it.

a million kajillion things at once

After paying hundreds of dollars to get certified to teach in New York Public Schools, I'm working at Starbucks. Sometimes, I admit that I'm a little embarrassed to tell people, and when new people I meet ask what I do, I tell them about my other job (sometimes).

Going into it, I thought that it would be easy. But waking up at 4:30am every weekday morning, seeing Cyrus for only an hour at night before we have to go to bed, and doing a million kajillion things at once for 6-8 hours straight is pretty stressful! But that's real life, right?

I'm pretty lucky to have what I had this past year: working part-time and spending a whole lot of time each day with Cyrus, even if I was sitting five feet away from him on my computer while he studied. And I'm so thankful that that's how we were able to start our marriage.

And no matter how hard it is not seeing him more than an hour each weeknight, I always remind myself - at least we're not dating long-distance anymore! Seriously, because anything is better than that!

So I work at Starbucks! And it's going okay.

music monday: "sitting on the dock of the bay" by sara bareilles

I found this song on iTunes searching for a song I heard on TV that I thought was Sara Bareilles. I went to see her live when she was touring with Rachael Yamagata a couple years ago, and we actually left in the middle of her performance. She's a great singer, but her stage presence and humor were so awkward!

And, especially compared to Rachael Yamagata, her songs can seem a little over-produced and too neatly put together, kind of like a movie that resolves every story line in a nice little bow. 

But this song... wow. The lyrics aren't particularly clever and the song isn't very catchy, but it has so much soul! And this song also shows how amazing a singer she is.



I downloaded the only version I could find online, which is a live performance. Too bad it's not as good as this video.

korea update 2

We just got back from our tour of Korea, and we're now back in Seoul. My favorite part about the tour? The hotels!! They were awesome! Bathrobes and slippers in every one!

But more importantly, I think some of the judgments I have about Korean Koreans are starting to break down. We were the only foreigners on the entire tour of 20-some people, and everyone was just so kind to us! Like really, really kind.

Now we're staying with one of Cyrus's cousins. Our only real plan for the rest of our trip is Cyrus's other cousin's wedding on Saturday and then back home on Sunday (our one-year anniversary!).

korea update 1

Day 3 in Korea. It is crazy, crazy humid here!

Highlights so far:
- Meeting up with Sarah & Grace
- Visiting the DMZ

Tomorrow we're off to a whirlwind adventure and boarding a tour bus to see the southern and eastern cities of the country.

I've never felt more American anywhere than I do here.